Wow Mali! - August 10, 2014

Highlights from the August 10, 2014 episode of Wow Mali!

- THE FLASHER - Taking a pic with a lady is fine until it gets photobombed by an idiot!

- K'NIS ANINO - Our old shadow prankster is back to mimic anyone he sees!

- NILASING NA HIPON - Would you like a free taste of...a drunk lady?!

- BASAGAN NG TRIP! - Oh dear...I hope I didn't cracked something...

- He's possessed! Deliver us from...Gudtaym!

- EMOTE CONTROL - On this episode's EMOTE CONTROL, action star Jeric Ruval asked the stuntmen to do ridiculous stuff!

Tropa Mo Ko Nice Di Ba?! - August 9, 2014

In the August 9, 2014 episode of TV5's Tropa Mo Ko Nice Di Ba, in the Balitang Dos Syete Singko segment, in case you forgot what that Mahalia Fuentes (Mahal) said in that portion...we don't really know what she just said but anyway...

Mahalia Fuentes

"DENGKYU EN LESIERDA. LEYDES FLOM AWOUWND. DA GWOWBIN HALNYWOOD NAW. HALNYWOOD HATICHHH KAPOLWIL SHEER DATREEN WANTCH AGAIN EN BAD PITT EN ANDYELEENA DYULI WILL COTAR EEN BY DAHTEE DA IN APCAMEEN DLAMA WY-TING, LECTED BAYJOOLI UNIBERCHAL PIKCHUR, SIRMADONALD LANLI. EAT RRANLEY, THREE-TWO TELEBRATE WIT DATUL SSUPERS-TAR ANDYELEENA END BLAD LEY PLETEN TO OP HOLNYWOOD BLAY DALENT TISAD ENDWEE AD ETE TUTUBI APART OP A DEAR. TELEBLATION O.M.SI POWER-PULL. PEACE! DATITA LAYTET PAM CHI EN EN, DEET IT MAHALIA FUENTES, THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT! AND SLIP DEAD."

You may not understand what she said but geez, isn't that funny?!

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014 film)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014 film)

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We love these turtles mutated into fun-loving crimefighters when we were young and it spawned hundreds or thousands of merchandising rights from toys, video games, and so own. It has several TV shows, several movies, and you name the rest for these mutated chelonian dudes keeping the streets safe from the menacing monsters, and the evil wrath of Shredder and his Foot Soldiers. Wow, who doesn't forget about turtles throwing away the Foot Soldiers in front of your screens eh?

With the TMNT been with us for several, countless years now that they had their own revised version currently airing on Nickelodeon, looks like the TMNT are getting the Michael Bay treatment like what he did to the Transformers and what can I say, the results can be somewhat a bit mixed and when I said mixed, you can expect some mixed comments.

At first glance, you can see that your favorite turtles; Don, Leo, Mikey, and Ralph (that's Donatello, Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Raphael) looked so gross for a Michael Bay-interpreted version and let's just say that while their looks are a bit too "childhood ruined" for us, the children watching this flick would think they look so scary rather than the blocky looks from their hit Nick TV series. To compensate for the Turtles' horrid looks, you can expect the casting call of Megan Fox, Will Arnett, William Fichtner, Danny Woodburn, Abby Elliott, and many others. Of course, Megan plays the role of the feisty reporter April O'Neil...except now she's not in her trademark jumpsuit like you saw her in the cartoons a few years ago.

So, while the casting call is a bit too messy apart from the turtles' messy looks, does the movie act like a Michael Bay-directed film should?

The answer..."Boom! Panes!" Very much. BOOM! You can really forget how gross these turtles are in the film, they still know how to kick butts like what they do in their cartoon heydays and keeping true to their "cowabunga" attitudes, the movie really knows how to blow moviegoers away with its hardcore storyline and the intensity that really turning up to eleven, not to mention their killer poses from the turtles. These turtles sure now how to strike a pose for a summer blockbuster and I think this is going to be a potent blow on the blockbuster hits.

So, the 2014 film version of TMNT may be featuring the worst-looking turtle heroes but when it comes to getting the action blowing up, this is a movie that will surely "shell shocked" to the very end. Looks like our faith to Michael Bay has been restored...just.

My rating: 4.2 out of 5.

The name of Yoshi was uncovered by writer

Yoshi's real name is what?!

Yoshi (日本名：ヨッシー), one of our favorite video game characters and one of Mario's friends who loves to eat just about everything in one gulp...or spitting fire or whatever the heck Yoshi does. Some conspiracist uncovered the long lost full name of Yoshi and that sparked outrage on us, video game geeks, or as I like to prefer, "childhood ruined".

Blake Harris, the author of Console Wars, obtained a highly top-secret document from Nintendo, in the form of a 1993 Nintendo character guide published so employees of licensing companies keep their facts straight. The top-secret document states that Yoshi's full name is "T. Yoshisaur Munchakoopas". Aside from Yoshi's full name, that top-secret document also states that Mario's scientific name is "homo nintendonus", which explains a lot, Link almost killed Zelda, and Peach's gown is literally magically clean.

Some long-lost gaming secrets are meant to be exposed for the hell of it and with that, looks like it's going to be in the whole "DID YOU KNOW GAMING?" stuff for a while before every gamer's brains got wired to the brink of the state of unconsciousness. Gosh, can't these conspiracists had enough exposing secrets from the Fifth Estate to the world?

I wonder what would Japanese-speaking Nintendo fans think of it? I mean come on, it's Japanese...It's made by Japanese for the world...

Report: http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/interest/2014-08-08/a-writer-uncovered-yoshi-long-lost-name-and-it-a-mouthful/.77422

Bubble Gang - August 8, 2014

On the August 8, 2014 episode of Bubble Gang...

- Baha gags

- Tensions in the courthouse never gotten this ugly...

- Don Cantoni's story continues as he gives Giovanni the punishment he deserves...or does he?

- IKAW AT ANG INA takes on...pointless "Thanks for Liking" comments!!!

- Everyone's favorite kontrabida, Antonietta, faces off with everyone's favorite kontrabida, Gladys Reyes!

- Istambay, Istambay Sa Looban, may salot na naman sa sambayan, mula nang napadpad si Maan, muling nawala...sa SAMPAYAN?!!

- More wise words from Tata Lino!

- The tapatan joke

The Cute Wall (Volume One)

You're here? Good. Now last year in my blog, I tried a segment called HOW CUTE IS YOUR CHARACTER, finding out which cute character will be considered as VERY CUTE. I listed ten cute characters and they're facing three cute tests; getting kissed, getting hugged and one-on-one against Phineas and Ferb's Isabella. Mog from the Final Fantasy games, Adipose from Doctor Who, BMO from Adventure Time, Mokona from Tsubasa, there are many others took my challenge but in the end...thanks to her super-gross look, Mabel from Gravity Falls took the top podium. Now, there are so many cute characters wanting to find out how cute are they and this looks like a new segment coming up! This is going to be more than I can chew on my security blanket...

Welcome to THE CUTE WALL. Like Top Gear's Cool Wall, except this wall is made to measure a cute character's, well, cuteness from Seriously Not Cute, Not Cute, Cute, and Nakakagigil. Well, I don't know what that word is because it's Tagalog for something but you get the idea. Let the search for the cutest begin and I'll have my security blanket ready so my lips can bite on it... What? It's what I do while sleeping!

Pikachu

So, my first ever Cute Wall begins with Pikachu. Last year, I measured Pikachu's cuteness to VERY CUTE. As cute as Catbug but not as cute as Mokona's so with further consideration, let's put Pikachu on...Nakakagigil. Well done, Pikachu. You are the first to be on my Cute Wall. Now, where was I? Oh yes!

Pikachu is one of the electric-types but there are some Electric-types who are way cuter than Pikachu. Hey hey hey! I'm expecting rivalries!

First up, it's the evolved form, Raichu. 

Raichu

In the first series, Ash and Pikachu takes on Vermillion Gym Leader Lt. Surge and his Raichu. I'm sure most 90's kids probably remember this stuff right? As I read through the Pokemon Handbook, there was a PokeDex Pick on Raichu's page stating that there are some Pikachu that are content with its personalities and refused to be evolved into Raichu via Thunder Stone. Well, I kinda agree that Pikachu's too cute to turn into a more powerful but rather disgust Raichu.

(audience laughing)

Here's one for you, if you have a Pikachu, keep it. Need Raichu? Get yourself another Pikachu or this...

Pichu

Yes. You guessed it. That's the pre-evolved form of Pikachu. It's called Pichu! Get this one hatched by an egg provided by either Pikachus or Raichus depending on genders and you can score these cute little critters. So, let's remember. Our little Pikachu's in the nakakagigil position so where will its evolved form and its pre-evolved form sit at? Hmmm...There's one major solution to that...

(audience laughing)

Seriously Not Cute. Yep. Raichu's SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE. Pikachu's right but what about Pichu? Is Pichu way cuter than Pikachu? Nope? Looks like Pikachu's not sure about it, maybe Pichu should be going to CUTE for a while. Ha ha ha... But there are some single-stage electric Pokemons joining the fray!

From Pokemon Advanced, it's Plusle and Minun. With the Plus and Minus abilities joined forces, these two are in for a serious treat.

Plusle and Minun

From Pokemon Diamond and Pearl, it's Pachirisu. Dawn has one, and so do you.

Pachirisu

From Pokemon Black and White, it's Emolga. One of Iris' favorite Pokemon since her Axew.

Emolga

And from Pokemon The Series XY, it's Dedenne. Probably one of the tiniest.

Dedenne

Oh my gosh. Every generation has an adorable Electric type but will they be enough to be as cute as Pikachu's? Time for a little nursery rhyme-ish ditty...

The Plusle goes "Plus!". The Minun goes "Minuuu!". The Pachirisu goes "Chipa Chipa!". The Emolga goes "Emo Emo!". And the Dedenne goes "Ne Ne!". Okay, I may not good at nursery ditties but you get the picture. They do sound too cute for electric types. If you're a drum majorette or a cheerleader, look away now or you'll be zapped like what happened on Brainiac Science Abuse. Ha ha ha...

Darn! These electric-type Pokemons are way too cute but if Pikachu wants to retain its highest superiority as the cutest electric-type Pokemon, Pikachu wishes that these would sit to the CUTE spot. Plusle, Minun, Pachirisu, Emolga, and Dedenne, you may stand next to Pichu. 

(audience laughing)

So...they're all sitting to the CUTE spot while Pikachu's in the top spot while Raichu's plummeted to the bottom spot of the CUTE WALL eh? Well, there goes to show that when it comes to cuteness over electric-types, there's no beating Pikachu. Hey, has anyone Pokemon-amie Pikachu on Pokemon X/Pokemon Y. I know that I just did.

Time for the recap!

SERIOUSLY NOT CUTE:

*Raichu

NOT CUTE:

(none)

CUTE:

*Pichu

*Plusle

*Minun

*Pachirisu

*Emolga

*Dedenne

NAKAKAGIGIL!!!:

*Pikachu

So, with the CUTE WALL working well, check back next time to see which cute character will be labelled nakakagigil as my security blanket's still in my mouth, awaiting my verdict...

Audi S1 and S1 Sportback

2015 Audi S1

2015 Audi S1 Sportback

The Audi A1 city compact has spawned itself a hotter version called the S1 and no, it doesn't have to do with the S1 you rally fans know about. This is way different than that, ladies and gents. The S1 joins the hot hatch fray and you can think of it as a civilized version of a limited-edition Audi A1 quattro a couple of years ago because unlike the A1 quattro, the S1 looks like a regular Audi A1 but it's been sprinkled with too much sugar on it so it makes it feel like it's in a "sugar rush" right now, wondering what might have been.

The S1 is available in both the 3-door and the 5-door Sportback model and whichever S1 you're choosing, you will be greeted by the sound of its 2.0L TFSi engine. It may not be flashy but the engine that powers it delivers a modest 231PS of power output and 370Nm of torque output while mated with a six-speed manual gearbox. That sounds like fun to us but how does it behave like what every hot hatch in the world should?

Well, at that size, the S1 is worth crippling to our facial muscles but once you get this one right, it's not half-bad. Like most S-badged models, it comes with a quattro permanent all-wheel drive system that lets you have fun without crashing into something even on a rainy day in Europe. There's more in the driving dynamics because the compound link rear suspension used on the A1 has been thrown away and replaced with a four-link design, meaning that when you face it round the corner at a right speed, it feels surgical and clinical as every hot hatch should. This is somewhat more enjoyable to have than the hot Renault Clio that relies on double-clutch nonsense and the special party piece but even though this comes with a 4WD layout and a compact body, I'm afraid there's been some constraints because even with quattro, understeer can be a bit of a issue and if you mess this up, then you've been out of bounds for no reason.

2015 Audi S1 Sportback interior

2015 Audi S1 interior

So, while it maybe a decent track-day car when treated right, driving on normal roads can be somewhat not nice at all because even with quattro, the stiffened suspension really baffles you every time and when it encounters a bump, things get nasty. However, the real fun is when you stopped, you can enjoy what's inside on the S1 judging the fact that it comes with a Wi-Fi hotspot where you can spend some time surfing the net with your smartphones while on a stopover. This hot hatch can make you feel as busy as a Yuppie who yips a lot with his fellow yuppies.

So, should you buy one? The three-door S1 starts at 29,950 Euros while the 5-door Sportback is priced at 30,800 Euros so in terms of pricing, that's more affordable to own than the A45 AMG but more expensive than the Renault Clio RS or the Peugeot 208 GTi. Despite that, it's a smart buy for those who are looking for some hot hatches that does everything you want in a car that makes you smile. Treat this car with the respect and you can be good mates on the road ahead.

Photo: Audi AG