"Ugh! Tom Jones na ako!"

What just happened at the July 15, 2011 episode of Bubble Gang?

- "Will you marry me" gags

- You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why, THIS IS BALITANG NEWS!

Balitang News

- D Wonder Boys are ready for their first TV commercial in the Philippines, none other than Baby Baby Diapers!

Wonder Boys for Baby Baby diapers

- Cheche Bureche in "Baon sa Recess", with the encounter of someone name Boobsie.

Boobsie

- Pag-tsibugan na, dapat masarap at mabilis because Bubble Gang does Ulalammm Tinapantastik commercial by spoofing its Ulamlam Tinapantastik! TOM JONES NA AKO!

Bubble Gang does Ulalammm Tinapantastik!

- The Bubble Gang version of Talking Twin Babies are back! It's definitely LOL and SO FUNNY!!!

Talking Twin Babies - Bubble Gang version

- You've already know about Pickup Lines, how about using those, Flip Top Rap Battle style! Push Back (Boy2 Quizon) and Bagoong (Roadfill from Moymoy Palaboy) competes and whoever wins, compete against champion Boy Pick Up (Ogie Alcasid)!

Push Back

Bagoong

Boy Pick Up

- Doctors know what you're hiding below that caused health problems...

- IyoTube in Creed's My Sacrifice

- This grampa is meddling the matters of these two; one who is watching TV and one who's playing video games.

Who can stop your husband's addiction to ALAK?

Alpha Bert turns ALAK into ALAT!

When a wife saw her husband getting too much addictive to liquor, she tries to stop him but he's still addicted to liquor no matter what it takes. The wife seek help to Alpha Bert to stop her husbands addiction to liquor. Alpha Bert told him some sad stories that are liquor-related but when he offers Alpha Bert a shot of liquor, Alpha Bert can't resist the temptation. When the misis snaps Alpha Bert out of his liquor temptation, the drunk Alpha Bert responds by turning ALAK into ALAT. The mister drank the ALAK, now ALAT, he spits it out because the liquor he drank is too salty.

ANG TV PATROL TEXT JOKE:

May isang ina ang nagsilang ng pangit na bata

Ang sabi ng ina: Isa siyang kayamana!

Ang sabi ng ama: Tara, ibaon na natin!

HORO-SCOOP WITH ZENAIDA SEBO (JOBERT):

Gemini - Matatangap ka sa trabaho. Pero kung may trabaho ka na, luma na itong hula ko sa iyo. Congrats na lang. Lucky day mo ay today pero kung sinuwerte ka kahapon, late na naman ako. Congrats ulit!

Tip sa jueteng - 468-rubble. Pag di ka nanalo, maghamon ka na lang ng rumble, baka manalo ka pa doon.

New CLS arrived in the Philippines - first up is the CLS63 AMG!

2012 Mercedes-Benz CLS63 AMG

Mercedes-Benz's CLS-Class, the founding father of the 4-door coupe category, has just made its full model change. In was debuted at the 2010 Paris Motor Show and later went on sale since January 2011 along with the turbocharged CLS63 AMG since March 2011.

As we know it, the second generation Mercedes-Benz CLS-Class finally arrived at the Philippines and their first offering was the turbocharged CLS63 AMG!

Scoop:

http://www.topgear.com.ph/news/launched-mercedes-benz-cls63-amg

You've already know the specs of the turbocharged V8 engine mounted on the CLS63 AMG but get this; pricing starts at 13.8 Million Philippine Pesos. Sound expensive and this is offered for the adrenaline-seeking wealthy people but doesn't matter. It sure is a thrill ride to the killer highway.

What if males have their own monthly period?

In Banana Split's "ANO NGA KAYA?" that July 14, 2011, we imagine that instead of females, what if males have their own monthly period. For example:

1) The joke seems to be uncomfortable

Uncomfortable laughter

2) Uncomfortable bedtime activity

I can't because I have...

3) Pain

The Pain

Understood. We should understand females once if they have their monthly period. ANO NGA KAYA?

Art Throb's 3D Glasses

Speaking of which, don't have 3D glasses? Don't worry because Art Throb (John Prats) taught us how to make a 3D glasses with the use of cellophane and illustration board.

ANG TV PATROL TEXT JOKE:

Kausap ni Donya ang bagong maid:

Sabi ni Donya: Tandaan mo! Ang almusal dito ay ala-sais!

Sagot si Maid: Don't worry mam. Kapag tulog pa po ako mauna na po kayo mag-almusal!

HORO-SCOOP WITH ZENAIDA SEBO (JOBERT):

Capricorn - Hintayin mo lang ang suwerte mo at darating ito. Pag dumating ito. Suwerte mo. Lucky song mo ay Hari Ng Sablay, kaya malamang malas ka.

Tip sa Lucky 9 - Wag kang hihirit pa kung di ka namang kasali sa laro. Ang tawag sayo ay EPAL!

The Adventures of Pureza: Queen of the Riles

The Adventures of Pureza

Year: 2011

Filmmaker: Star Cinema

Cast: Melai Cantiveros
Jason Francisco
Bianca Manalo
Joem Bascon
Martin Del Rosario
Nico Antonio
Bekimon
Gina Pareno

Nope, that's not Purezza, you know, like Nogizaka Haruka No Himitsu Purezza. It's called Pureza! Pureza! Need to spell it out for you? That's P-U-R-E-Z-A! (Panting) What's behind the Pureza naming? Well, okay, the Melason tandem finally made it on the silver screen but unfortunately, not as good as Temptation Island. However, all is forgiven because of the Melason misfits fans will love because this is the movie fitting for Melason fans from around the world!

The Adventures of Pureza revolves on a young girl named Pura, played by Melai Cantiveros (Banana Split, I Dare You, Mana Po, Happy Yippee Yehey) who lives in the house which is nearby the railroad along with her stepbrother, Ulam, played by Martin Del Rosario (Shoutout, Minsan Lang Kita Iibigin). Just like that main character from Ang Tanging Ina, Pura does all jobs no matter how dirty it gets for the sake of her stepbrother's tuition fee. One big trouble is that Pura wants to be a model someday. Pura's best pal named Ruben, played by Jason Francisco (Banana Split, Mana Po) works with the criminals as a driver. The criminals asked Ruben to kidnap a Brazilian model but later gone for good. To save Ruben's butt, Pura takes on the most challenging dare yet, disguise herself as a Cuban model whose none other than PUREZA!

This maybe one heck of an idiotic roller coaster ride that fires an automated weapon of comedy but Pureza is an interesting feat Melason fans love. Being Melai is always being Melai and Melai mo...magwork. (AAHHHH!!!) What's boring are the characters played by Bianca Manalo (Juanita Banana), Bekimon (Juanita Banana), Martin Del Rosario, Joem Bascon (Noah), and the others because, it's not our type you know. Having the Melason tandem being the main characters of Pureza is definitely a wipeout of fun and excitement because what the Melason tandem gets, everybody responds on their trademark brand of comedy and also the punch lines used on Pureza. Face it, we may not be fans of Star Wars, Titanic, and Avatar, but once we see it, we are going to be big fans of the Pureza-ism.

Think of it as the comedy "a la carte" is Filipino, handmade by director Soxie Topacio. wktk

Former head of CAMPI and UMC vice president is not going to be a Customs chief - PNoy says

Elizabeth Lee at the Nissan Murano Z51 launch

The resignation of Elizabeth Lee from being the head of CAMPI and vice president of Universal Motors Corporation, had led to many speculations saying that she could be the next Bureau of Customs chief.

On the latest report, it is confirmed that Elizabeth Lee is not going to be the next Bureau of Customs chief, according to President Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III.

Scoop:

http://www.topgear.com.ph/news/pnoy-denies-ex-campi-umc-boss-elizabeth-lee-is-new-customs-chief-report

Well, Elizabeth Lee's not going to be the next Customs chief after all but why did she resign from being the CAMPI head and UMC vice president?

....with apologies to Houki Shinonono

2010 Lancia Stratos Concept

It was a sad news for Lancia fans waiting for the revival of the iconic Stratos sportscar that was once used as a rally car, then followed with a limited production of 500 units back in the 70's. Ferrari, famous for their red hot sports cars such as the 458 Italia and the already sold out Ferrari FF, prevents the limited production of the "New Stratos".

Scoop:

http://www.topgear.com.ph/news/ferrari-blocks-production-of-new-stratos

OK, you know what, I'm not going to explain why because I'll hand it over to, you know who.

Houki Shinonono from Infinite Stratos

(Clears Throat) Hello everyone. I'm sure you've probably remembered me from Infinite Stratos. I'm Houki Shinonono! Nice to meet you all! I heard someone's reviving the Stratos machine that was once a legendary machine back in the 70's but later, the revival of the Stratos machine disrupted by some automobile manufacturer...

According to the New Stratos website I saw, Ferrari is not consent for the limited production of the so-called "New Stratos" by either Pininfarina or any other Ferrari-dependent suppliers. I'm getting nervous that a coach-builder may not bring the "New Stratos" project into fruition but I think there's hope for them if they find the suitable suppliers that are not Ferrari-dependent.

That is all I can say! I just hope the revival of the Stratos won't be complicating because of the suppliers. My sincere apologies for how did I came here because of that whole "Stratos" thing...

Say cheese, Mang Ben!

How's that for a portrait?

In Mang Ben on the July 13 episode of Banana Split, Mang Ben (Jayson Gainza) went to the photo booth to take a picture of himself. While the photographer's taking a picture of Mang Ben, seems that the camera's flash making trouble with Mang Ben, probably he shuts his eyes when the camera flashes. One solution can be somewhat horrible, he finds some ipit to make sure his eyes won't shut but shocked the cameraman.

Alpha Bert and Letterman made BADING into DAING!

A gay lost his "DAING" and he needs help from the two arch rivals none other than Alpha Bert (Jobert) and Letterman (Jason Francisco). When the two arrived, the gay wants to kiss the both of them but they take no. To get the DAING, Alpha Bert and Letterman used the BADING word, remove the letter B, arrange, and the word is DAING!

MG MG6 Magnette

2012 MG MG6 Magnette

The launch of the MG6 GT since May 2011 marks the return of the British automobile marque to its homeland after being owned by China's SAIC (Shanghai Automotvie Industry Corporation) and this is the time the Brits fall in love with driving again. Now in the summer of 2011, MG Motor UK introduces a new member of the family and this would be a decent rival to the Renault Fluence, Mazda Axela (Mazda 3), Mitsubishi Galant Fortis (Lancer), Chevrolet Cruze, and the Volkswagen Jetta.

Called the MG6 Magnette, it carries the same features of the MG6 GT hatchback now with the look of the medium sedan. This 4-door sedan is designed and engineered at MG Motor UK Technical Centre and it was a complete knock down unit, meaning it was made from China but remains are shipped through the Longbridge plant for finishing touches. Well, it doesn't matter, the Magnette naming on the MG6 Magnette sounds feminine but don't worry, this Britain-made sedan is made for everyone who shared their life-long passion to the Morris Garages brand. This was the second all new MG for 16 years, the first was the MG6 GT, as told from the new MG advert. This is something new on the road ahead.

On the road ahead, the MG6 Magnette is equipped with the turbocharged 1.8-litre TCI-TECH engine that produces about 158bhp (160PS) of power, 215Nm of torque, compression ratio of 9.2:1, and 0-60mph in 8.4 seconds. The standard transmission is a 5-speed manual transmission, which provides the fun factor for the British car enthusiasts ten-fold.

Three variants are available for the MG6 Magnette such as the standard MG6 Magnette S, MG6 Magnette SE, and the flagship MG6 Magnette TSE loaded with luxurious extras. It is available in seven exterior colors such as Pitch Black, Arctic White, Regal Red, Union Blue, Platinum Silve, Granite Grey, and Champagne.

My Comment:
The return of MG made it even more offensive with the launch of the MG6 GT hatchback but with the arrival of the MG6 Magnette medium sedan, this is going to be a serious threat to the likes of the Renault Fluence, Mazda Axela (Mazda 3), Mitsubishi Galant Fortis (Lancer), Chevrolet Cruze, and the Volkswagen Jetta. They're getting serious about this comeback and they are ready to win the hearts of many British car enthusiasts and win back MG's reputation after being owned by SAIC. This is going to be an interesting feat, I can't wait to see how far will two MG6 models (the MG6 GT and the MG6 Magnette) survive the battle.

Photo: MG Motor UK (via Facebook)

Hyundai's TUIX customizes the Veloster

2012 Hyundai Veloster with TUIX Dynamic Package

In case you missed it, Hyundai's customization program, TUIX (Tuning is Innovation and Expession), made some modifications on the Hyundai Veloster, the stylish 2+1 hatchback coupe which was the first of Hyundai's new Premium Youth Lab sub-brand, dedicated to meet the needs of young adult drivers in South Korea, basically those from 20's to 30's. The TUIX Dynamic Package features an upgraded suspension in a form of stabilizer bar, shock absorber, and springs. That's not all, the Veloster's front bumper can be personalized with either a "High Gloss bumper decal" or "Carbon Fiber bumper decal" to make it more stylish. It even features three kinds of vinyls available, which is somewhat similar to FGP-Mazda's MIYO MAZDA. There was the Arrow vinyl, the Bar Code vinyl, and the Club vinyl. What a great way to personalize your Veloster just the way you want courtesy of TUIX!

More info:

http://veloster.hyundai.com/veloster/index.aspx

What is TUIX?

In case you haven't heard of it, TUIX is Hyundai Motor Company's customization program that was first applied on the Hyundai Tucson iX and Hyundai Avante (Elantra) MD.

More info:

http://www.hyundai.com/kr/PurchaseInfo/TUIX/BrandIntro.aspx

Kia K5 (Optima) Turbo GDi Advert

The Kia K5 (Optima) Turbo GDi variant was released a few days earlier, about July 11, 2011 I think. There was a commercial for that...

A hybrid SUV version of the Peugeot 508?

2013 Peugeot 508 RXH

Indeed it is. The 2013 Peugeot 508 RXH is the hybrid crossover version of the Peugeot 508 using the 508 SW as its base. It competes against the likes of the Audi A4 Allroad and Subaru Legacy Outback when it hits Europe at the first half of this year.

Details remain slim for now but the 508 RXH is the second Peugeot to be equipped with Hybrid4 technology, the new diesel-electric hybrid feature that was first equipped on the 3008 Hybrid4, providing low emissions and cleaner driving while tackling mud, sand, gravel, and snow.

Expect full details at Frankfurt!

Scoop:

http://www.autoblog.com/2011/07/11/peugeot-508-rxh-diesel-hybrid-to-debut-at-frankfurt-motor-show/