BMW 7-Series (G11/G12) LCI and X7

The facelifted G11/G12 BMW 7-Series and the first-ever flagship SUV, the X7, forever rattled the roads of the world because of their new, massive kidney grille the size of the state of Texas and when you see them, expect their new faces to give you the similar phobia you get from holes. Trypophobia, of course, which made your skin crawl. Anyway, let's investigate the flagship Bimmers with Texas-sized grilles.

2020 BMW 7-Series

Beginning with the BMW 7-Series G11/G12, the latest minor change of BMW's flagship sedan dons the biggest kidney grille for a BMW saloon and judging by its mammoth-sized grille, it doesn't look pretty on everyone's rear view mirror when they see one but such swagger will really upset everyone on the road especially those who got out from it, bragging anyone that they had one of these. Massive grille aside, the revised exterior design keeps this flagship saloon as crispy as a glass of apple cider and that really means business.

2020 BMW 7-Series interior

2020 BMW 7-Series interior

Delivering an "out on a limo" feel when they get off, the interior of the new 7-Series LCI boasts a wide range of gadgets that will make life more convenient for both the driver and passenger, especially while going on a trip to the country club or a five star hotel. On the driver's side, there are so many gadgets to toy around such as the BMW Intelligent Personal Assistant that answers most of your questions while driving. On the passenger side, there's also a lot of toy around especially the dual screens for your relaxing pleasure even while stuck on EDSA traffic. There's a lot of stuff toy around while getting snuggled to its comfortable, handcrafted seats.

2020 BMW 7-Series

The most powerful variant, the M760Li xDrive, comes with a massive 6.6L V12 TwinPower Turbo engine producing 585PS of power and 850Nm of torque and capable of reaching 305kph with the optional feature but those looking for some more miles should avoid the diesel range (because Europe) and go for the newer PHEV variants with the 745e with its 3.0L turbo engine mated to an electric motor and battery capable of 2.0L/100km combined fuel economy based on WLTP standards. No matter the variant, most models are fitted with a new 8-speed Steptronic gearbox that is now sportier, more comfortable, and more efficient.

The 7-Series is made solely for escorting high rollers, especially politicians, with its available xDrive intelligent all-wheel drive, Dynamic Stability Control, Integral Active Steering, Executive Drive Pro, and some chassis improvements but if you really want to go Ronin-like, expect some arm-breaking activity when you set to its sportiest settings because despite being a heavy tech-laden carriage, it behaves like a sporty grand tourer full stop and that's some jealously drivers salivate for. And because the 7-Series boasts a wide range of safety features fit for a flagship saloon, it's all about getting the job done unscathed.

The 7-Series LCI starts at 88,690 Euros.

2019 BMW X7

Now, let's examine the BMW X7, the flagship SUV and the most intimidating Bimmer ever made. Made to compete against the Mercedes-Benz GLS-Class and the Audi Q7, this all-new model has the hulking presence, the hulking performance, and the demanding comfort fit for the world's big-shots who want a big SUV with a lot of swagger to pull.

2019 BMW X7

Drawing inspiration from its concept derivative, the intimidating exterior deserves no explanation because it's got the biggest kidney grille of any BMW ever made, bigger than the 7 LCI I talked about earlier, and when you see one of these on your rear-view mirror, you'd better watch yourselves or don't get shoved off by its intimidating facial gesture. It's like a sign of road rage coming up

2019 BMW X7 interior

Apart from the intimidating exterior that clearly sums this 84,300 Euro mammoth up, the X7's interior is all about form, functionality, and comfort in one clever package. On the driver's side, it's got a lot of gadgets to toy around such as gesture control, BMW Connected and ConnectedDrive, and more, not to mention the addition of the BMW Intelligent Personal Assistant which is like your Amazon Alexa for your BMW, whatever that means.

The X7 is the first seven-seater BMW SUV offered but not the first because the 2-Series Gran Tourer introduced us seven-seater capacity. Anyway, as a seven-seater, there are some ups and downs to this because the upside is, since this is a seven-seater, it works as a family car full stop, but on the downside is, just like every seven-seater SUV, getting to the third row seat in the event the second-row seat's fully occupied by ISOFIX child seats is no easy task. Of course, BMW will offer you to split the second row seats into half but the situation remains the same. As a family car, it's too expensive and in such scenario, ruins your sweet spot but as a rich man's car, this is like a 7-Series in so many ways, unless your financier is riding on his scooter instead behind you or between the entourage. 

2019 BMW X7

The X7 offers a wide range of petrol and diesel engines mated to the same 8-speed gearbox as the 7 but best to stay off the diesels unless you live in countries where diesels are acceptable such as the Philippines. The range-topper is the M50i with the 4.4L V8 TwinPower Turbo engine producing 530PS of power, 750Nm of torque, and a 0-100kph time of less than five seconds.

While unacceptable in today's Europe, the xDrive30d variant of the X7 promises about 171g/km of CO2 emissions and that's all I can say it.

Although being a Manhattan tanker-sized SUV, the X7 handles very much like the BMW 7-Series in so many ways courtesy of its xDrive intelligent all-wheel drive, Dynamic Stability Control, and others. With the optional off-road package, the X7 possess near Range Rover levels of getting through tarmac, gravel, snow, sand, and rocks, the near-ideal elephant on your room in case you're taking on the Hannibal.

Thanks to a wide range of safety features, especially the highly noticeable Driving Assistant Professional possessing near-autonomous driving technology, Emergency Stop Assistant, andParking Assistant Plus with Reversing Assistant, it feels like another day at the office for the X7 even when taking a trip back at the mansion.

So, there you are. If you are on the road seeing one of these on your rear view mirror, you'd better doublethink before dealing with these mammoth-grilled beasts from all sides. The 7-Series LCI and the first-ever X7 look intimidating because of their terrifying size of their kidney grilles but their level of luxuriousness brings swagger to a completely new level.

Photo: BMW AG