When a wife saw her husband getting too much addictive to liquor, she tries to stop him but he's still addicted to liquor no matter what it takes. The wife seek help to Alpha Bert to stop her husbands addiction to liquor. Alpha Bert told him some sad stories that are liquor-related but when he offers Alpha Bert a shot of liquor, Alpha Bert can't resist the temptation. When the misis snaps Alpha Bert out of his liquor temptation, the drunk Alpha Bert responds by turning ALAK into ALAT. The mister drank the ALAK, now ALAT, he spits it out because the liquor he drank is too salty.
ANG TV PATROL TEXT JOKE:
May isang ina ang nagsilang ng pangit na bata
Ang sabi ng ina: Isa siyang kayamana!
Ang sabi ng ama: Tara, ibaon na natin!
HORO-SCOOP WITH ZENAIDA SEBO (JOBERT):
Gemini - Matatangap ka sa trabaho. Pero kung may trabaho ka na, luma na itong hula ko sa iyo. Congrats na lang. Lucky day mo ay today pero kung sinuwerte ka kahapon, late na naman ako. Congrats ulit!
Tip sa jueteng - 468-rubble. Pag di ka nanalo, maghamon ka na lang ng rumble, baka manalo ka pa doon.
Mercedes-Benz's CLS-Class, the founding father of the 4-door coupe category, has just made its full model change. In was debuted at the 2010 Paris Motor Show and later went on sale since January 2011 along with the turbocharged CLS63 AMG since March 2011.
As we know it, the second generation Mercedes-Benz CLS-Class finally arrived at the Philippines and their first offering was the turbocharged CLS63 AMG!
You've already know the specs of the turbocharged V8 engine mounted on the CLS63 AMG but get this; pricing starts at 13.8 Million Philippine Pesos. Sound expensive and this is offered for the adrenaline-seeking wealthy people but doesn't matter. It sure is a thrill ride to the killer highway.
In Banana Split's "ANO NGA KAYA?" that July 14, 2011, we imagine that instead of females, what if males have their own monthly period. For example:
1) The joke seems to be uncomfortable
Uncomfortable laughter
2) Uncomfortable bedtime activity
I can't because I have...
3) Pain
The Pain
Understood. We should understand females once if they have their monthly period. ANO NGA KAYA?
Art Throb's 3D Glasses
Speaking of which, don't have 3D glasses? Don't worry because Art Throb (John Prats) taught us how to make a 3D glasses with the use of cellophane and illustration board.
ANG TV PATROL TEXT JOKE:
Kausap ni Donya ang bagong maid:
Sabi ni Donya: Tandaan mo! Ang almusal dito ay ala-sais!
Sagot si Maid: Don't worry mam. Kapag tulog pa po ako mauna na po kayo mag-almusal!
HORO-SCOOP WITH ZENAIDA SEBO (JOBERT):
Capricorn - Hintayin mo lang ang suwerte mo at darating ito. Pag dumating ito. Suwerte mo. Lucky song mo ay Hari Ng Sablay, kaya malamang malas ka.
Tip sa Lucky 9 - Wag kang hihirit pa kung di ka namang kasali sa laro. Ang tawag sayo ay EPAL!
Cast: Melai Cantiveros
Jason Francisco
Bianca Manalo
Joem Bascon
Martin Del Rosario
Nico Antonio
Bekimon
Gina Pareno
Nope, that's not Purezza, you know, like Nogizaka Haruka No Himitsu Purezza. It's called Pureza! Pureza! Need to spell it out for you? That's P-U-R-E-Z-A! (Panting) What's behind the Pureza naming? Well, okay, the Melason tandem finally made it on the silver screen but unfortunately, not as good as Temptation Island. However, all is forgiven because of the Melason misfits fans will love because this is the movie fitting for Melason fans from around the world!
The Adventures of Pureza revolves on a young girl named Pura, played by Melai Cantiveros (Banana Split, I Dare You, Mana Po, Happy Yippee Yehey) who lives in the house which is nearby the railroad along with her stepbrother, Ulam, played by Martin Del Rosario (Shoutout, Minsan Lang Kita Iibigin). Just like that main character from Ang Tanging Ina, Pura does all jobs no matter how dirty it gets for the sake of her stepbrother's tuition fee. One big trouble is that Pura wants to be a model someday. Pura's best pal named Ruben, played by Jason Francisco (Banana Split, Mana Po) works with the criminals as a driver. The criminals asked Ruben to kidnap a Brazilian model but later gone for good. To save Ruben's butt, Pura takes on the most challenging dare yet, disguise herself as a Cuban model whose none other than PUREZA!
This maybe one heck of an idiotic roller coaster ride that fires an automated weapon of comedy but Pureza is an interesting feat Melason fans love. Being Melai is always being Melai and Melai mo...magwork. (AAHHHH!!!) What's boring are the characters played by Bianca Manalo (Juanita Banana), Bekimon (Juanita Banana), Martin Del Rosario, Joem Bascon (Noah), and the others because, it's not our type you know. Having the Melason tandem being the main characters of Pureza is definitely a wipeout of fun and excitement because what the Melason tandem gets, everybody responds on their trademark brand of comedy and also the punch lines used on Pureza. Face it, we may not be fans of Star Wars, Titanic, and Avatar, but once we see it, we are going to be big fans of the Pureza-ism.
Think of it as the comedy "a la carte" is Filipino, handmade by director Soxie Topacio. wktk
The resignation of Elizabeth Lee from being the head of CAMPI and vice president of Universal Motors Corporation, had led to many speculations saying that she could be the next Bureau of Customs chief.
On the latest report, it is confirmed that Elizabeth Lee is not going to be the next Bureau of Customs chief, according to President Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III.
It was a sad news for Lancia fans waiting for the revival of the iconic Stratos sportscar that was once used as a rally car, then followed with a limited production of 500 units back in the 70's. Ferrari, famous for their red hot sports cars such as the 458 Italia and the already sold out Ferrari FF, prevents the limited production of the "New Stratos".
OK, you know what, I'm not going to explain why because I'll hand it over to, you know who.
Houki Shinonono from Infinite Stratos
(Clears Throat) Hello everyone. I'm sure you've probably remembered me from Infinite Stratos. I'm Houki Shinonono! Nice to meet you all! I heard someone's reviving the Stratos machine that was once a legendary machine back in the 70's but later, the revival of the Stratos machine disrupted by some automobile manufacturer...
According to the New Stratos website I saw, Ferrari is not consent for the limited production of the so-called "New Stratos" by either Pininfarina or any other Ferrari-dependent suppliers. I'm getting nervous that a coach-builder may not bring the "New Stratos" project into fruition but I think there's hope for them if they find the suitable suppliers that are not Ferrari-dependent.
That is all I can say! I just hope the revival of the Stratos won't be complicating because of the suppliers. My sincere apologies for how did I came here because of that whole "Stratos" thing...
In Mang Ben on the July 13 episode of Banana Split, Mang Ben (Jayson Gainza) went to the photo booth to take a picture of himself. While the photographer's taking a picture of Mang Ben, seems that the camera's flash making trouble with Mang Ben, probably he shuts his eyes when the camera flashes. One solution can be somewhat horrible, he finds some ipit to make sure his eyes won't shut but shocked the cameraman.
Alpha Bert and Letterman made BADING into DAING!
A gay lost his "DAING" and he needs help from the two arch rivals none other than Alpha Bert (Jobert) and Letterman (Jason Francisco). When the two arrived, the gay wants to kiss the both of them but they take no. To get the DAING, Alpha Bert and Letterman used the BADING word, remove the letter B, arrange, and the word is DAING!
