BMW 7-Series G70

The previous 7-Series started BMW's big grille mess that has plagued every single lineup, causing speedo boys to doublethink about their affinity toward it. With the all-new G70 model, BMW's oras de peligro continues with its massive new grille that shows the new normal of BMW this is the alpha of the group.

2023 BMW 7-Series

2023 BMW 7-Series

Starting at 116,000 Euros plus additional costs, the all-new BMW 7-Series G70 continues BMW's worst nightmare for speedo boys because of its controversial styling that is worth the talk of the town.

Yes, the styling is definitely every speedo boy's worst nightmare because of the extra-large kidney grilles and the quad headlights plastered to it. When you see this one coming from your rear-view mirror, be ready because this nightmarish front face is about as scary as...the scary video you show to your kids.

2023 BMW 7-Series interior

2023 BMW 7-Series interior

Weaving from the nightmarish exterior design, the new 7-Series' interior is an elitist's delight. On the driver's side, you'll be greeted by the curved widescreen display panel that runs on BMW Operating System 8. With one side taking care of its instrumental cluster and the other side that controls the entire car from airconditioning, entertainment, and navigation, not to mention the artificial engine sounds programmed to it, it's all business behind the wheel. As for the passenger side, you can expect an "out on a limo" feeling when it comes with the Executive Lounge option, a 31.3-inch 8K BMW Theatre Screen with Amazon Fire TV, and a nifty touchscreen on the passenger door handles, making it a true business class at the business end. If you were a billionaire or a right-wing politician, this is the one for you.

2023 BMW 7-Series

In a move to upset speedo boys, all variants of the BMW 7-Series G70 come with xDrive permanent all-wheel-drive system, meaning this new model is bulkier to drive than the previous G11 model so don't expect much smoke and mirrors from below, but because this model is made to satisfy high rollers and right-wing politicians from the passenger seat, the all-wheel-drive system and the most sophisticated suspension and chassis setup allows the G70 7-Series to drive smoothly like the butter song if you catch my drift.

Because of the CLAR platform it runs underneath, the engine lineup has been electrified to comply with the new normal. The 750e PHEV runs on a 3.0L 6-cylinder turbocharged engine with an electric motor, producing 490PS of power and 1.0 l/100 km of fuel economy. The 740d, meanwhile, runs on a 3.0L 6-cylinder CRDi diesel engine with mild hybrid technology, producing 286PS of power and 6.1 l/100 km of fuel economy. And for the ultimate experience, there's the range-topping M760e powered by the same setup as the 750e but it's been boosted to produce 571PS of power and 800Nm of torque. Mated to an 8-speed automatic, it's capable of a 0-100kph time of 4.3 seconds and an electronically-limited top speed of 250kph. The fuel economy is around 1.0 l/100 km.

For safety, the 7-Series G70 is packed with advanced driver-assist systems, including the ones from the Driving Assistant package, the Driving Assistant Plus, and the Parking Assistant Professional. Although it is capable of Level 2 autonomy, there will be new features that will make it Level 3 autonomy coming soon.

The BMW 7-Series G70, along with its electric i7, is a sign of things to come because you can expect nightmarish-looking larger grilles like this in the future. Despite its terrifying front grille that draws flak from speedo boys, its business-class comfort, electric drivetrain, and surprising tech are proof that the future's becoming real. When you see one in action, better get your word on it.

Photo: BMW AG