Balitang Six Six for 10/1/13

And now, what's the update or funny vids for 10/1/13's Banana Nite's Balitang Six Six?

- BOWLING FAIL!

- Politician dropped his teeth! Literally!

- Some unruly kid dropped his friend from the bridge and into the river!

- Snowboard fail!

- Some jacka** fell through the tallest staircase outside!

- Monkey bar FAIL

Meanwhile Alex Gonzaga gave us top three tips on how to deal with your bungangera wife in LAUGH THREE;

1) Use your secret weapon - SNACKS!

2) Be DRAMA-tic!

3) Bring in the bungangerang mother-in-law!

Let's Do The News! (October 2, 2013)

The big stuff on this segment tonight or today or this morning when you woke up in the morning...

- In the event of yesterday's US Govt. Shutdown, the Affordable Care Act, known colloquially as Obamacare, was officially launched and Americans can now sign up for health care insurance on government online marketplaces. Coverages start next year. One more thing, US President Obama urged those no-good Republicans to pass the budget without conditions and reopen the government as soon as possible but as we know, this whole US Government Shutdown will continue for a very very long while, causing major impact on the world economy.

- Aston Martin's compact car based on the Toyota iQ, the Cygnet, is officially officially DISCONTINUED for good....meh. Who cares about this little Aston? We're not fond with it...

Aston Martin Cygnet

- For this year's SEMA Show, Hyundai collaborates with EGR to modify a Veloster Turbo jacked up with 250HP of power and giving the codename "Yellowcake".

- Ain't no Top Gear but Nissan sends its Fairlady Z NISMO to a race against BASE jumper at the Susten Pass in the Swiss Alps. Check this out...

- One of the characters from The Simpsons will meet its maker. Who will it be? Find out here...

- While we're busy celebrating the win of Megan Young on Miss World 2013, looks like someone's unhappy with the win because...There was once an FB user making "racist" remarks over Megan Young's Miss World win.

- Luther lead actor Idris Elba is the cover man of the November 2013 issue of Esquire Magazine UK.

Idris Elba in Esquire UK November
2013 issue

- Vividred Operation's Akane Isshiki in her Palette Suit gets the figma treatment from GSC! Pre-order books are open for those who are interested on this new toy!

figma Akane Isshiki: Palette Suit ver.

TTFN!

SYRIA UPRISING: OPCW inspectors arrive in Syria

An advance team of chemical weapons inspectors, sent by the Hague-based OPCW, has arrived in Damascus, Syria, to start preparations to destroy the country's chemical weapons. They entered Syria via road from Beirut, Lebanon.

Story: NHK WORLD

THREATS FROM NORTH KOREA: N.Korea urges US to drop its hostile policy

North Korean Vice Foreign Minister, Pak Kil Yon, urges the United States to end its hostile policy toward his country before asking the North to abandon its nuclear weapons. He spoke this during the UN General Assembly and urged the US to agree to transform the 1953 Korean War armistice into a treat although he blamed the USA for instability of the peninsula.

Story: NHK WORLD

Let's Do The News! (October 1, 2013)

(cheers and applause)

James: Now, look. Look. Everyone be quiet, please. With the US Government now on Shutdown, pains me to say that...well, good luck to those who are affected. Think about it, with the Government Shutdown happened in the USA, over 800,000 government employees will suffer, parks and recreations are closed indefinitely, well, there's more over to the aftermath if I'm honest.

Jeremy: Uh-huh so here we are. If you are willing to work in the USA as well as for those living in the US, don't because due to the political reasons, well let's blame the Republicans for this like everyone else does, the United States of America is NOT the safest country in the world.

Richard: Really?

Jeremy: Yes. No longer safe. Look at the Statue of Liberty. Lights out for now and all parks and recreations all over the USA are closed. Sadly, they didn't mention about commercial establishments or education or sports or whatever that keep things afloat. Hmmmm...Oh! And best not to buy groceries or go to the mall or eat outside because...(clears throat)

(audience laughing)

Richard: Oh yeah. Government Shutdown in the US. That's definitely a political cataclysm not just for the US but for the entire world as well. Think about the economic impact the shutdown will cause and if by "worst", that's gonna hurt...badly.

Jeremy: As badly as...dropping an elevator.

Richard: Or worse...wrecking ball through your room.

Jeremy: Meteor in Russia...

Richard: Meteor that killed all dinosaurs...

(audience laughing)

Richard: Yep. Worse that killing all dinosaurs. Oh and speaking of which there are so many bad things happened in an event of a shutdown like for instance the EPA on hiatus, influenza monitoring on hiatus, nutrition support slashed, suspended food safety, workplace safety, disruptive impact on the DOJ, well you get the picture but there are some stuff that are "business as usual" in an event of a shutdown like...

Jeremy: Air travel, benefits, fed courts, postal, taxes, Mission Control in NASA, National Weather Service, Homeland Security, Military, prisons...well, business as usual for them but there are a bunch of limitations in an event of a shutdown. (sigh) So, are we going to expect the worst quarter of the year? For us, it's a yes and it's not looking good for us, even you around.

(audience laughing)


Jeremy: Now, some more bad news. There's another sex scandal between Chito Miranda and Neri Naig making the rounds on the net.

James: Another one?

Richard: Man, why are there are so many scandals going on through every celeb in the Philippines. What's going on? Why is every Philippine celeb get battered by a bunch of scandals done by a bunch of bashers who don't care about it? I mean come on out here...

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Yes. There has been a never-ending scandals plaguing through the Philippine showbizness but who's to blame? It's still remain unknown for now but here's a thing to those bashers behind this...stop making scandals ruining every celeb in the showbiz world. That makes them very uncomfortable and very painful.

(audience laughing)

Richard: Hey, there's an small American company created a modern take of the classic 1960's Mustang. Here it is...

Equus Bass 770

Richard: This is called the EQUUS BASS 770, it's a modern remake of the first-ever Ford Mustang, the one Steve McQueen drove on Bullitt, it's fitted with the V8 engine from the Corvette ZR1, and hey! It's loaded with modern technology! It even has a sat-nav!

Jeremy: Look, Ritchie. I know you like muscle cars but for me, I don't like because...(clears throat)

(audience laughing)

Richard: But hey, this is just another modern remake of old classics. Remember the Eagle Speedster?

Jeremy: Well, yes, and that's definitely one of the best cars I have ever driven in my life and I love it.

Richard: Okay, good and what about the Singer 911?

James: For me, it's definitely feels like a classic Porsche 911 and I like it because unlike the new model, the electric power steering kinda feels more eccentric and that's not a classic 911 trait I deserve.

Richard: Well, for me, I think the EQUUS really knows how to mix the right ingredients; having the classic looks with some modern interpretations on it. I bet this is worth the fun rather than the Eagle Speedster or the Singer 911. No offense pals but I love it.

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Well, I think this is worth the fun than the Shelby Mustang I drove but one particular thing I don't like about this car is the price. The EQUUS costs around 156,000 Pounds which is more than the new Shelby Mustang but still, it's worth the heritage flowing it.

Richard: Heh?

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Just kidding. I'm not fond of muscle cars. Sorry.

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Now as the whole world still positive about celeb Megan Young being the first ever Filipina to win this year's Miss World pageant, I found some DYK that I'm not really quite fond of...

Richard: Like what?

Jeremy: Hmmm...Amazingly, the DYK about Ms. Megan Young is that she's...wait for it, wait for it, wait for it....an avid gamer. Yes. Miss World 2013 winner is an avid gamer like everyone else. Get this, she's also a huge fan of Ragnarok, Fable, Pokemon, and many others.

(ooohh)

James: Hmmm....What a very interesting DYK indeed. Everyone's getting huge interests on her...interests.

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: Anyway, that is the end of the news folks and if you're in the US, good luck on your worst days of your lives.

(audience laughing)

Jeremy: No laughing matter, folks. This is serious.

SYRIA UPRISING: Paris investigates French assets of Assad's uncle

French authorities opened a preliminary investigation into the assets of Rifaat al-Assad, the uncle of Syrian president Bashar al-Assad, whom anti-corruption groups accuse of illegally obtaining a vast fortune of his property empire. The complaint by anti-corruption groups alleges the 76-year-old illegally obtained "extraordinary wealth" through corruption and embezzlement.

Story: FRANCE24

How Cute Is Your Character? - Mabel Pines

I've been bringing in the cutest characters in the history of cartoons and games, whatever they came from, and facing all three tests; getting kissed, hugged, and resist against Isabella from Phineas and Ferb, in a bid to top my CUTENESS RANKER leaderboard.

Time for a recap...

Mog from the Final Fantasy series became the first to come into our segment and in terms of getting hug and getting kissed, Mog scored greatly but when faced off against Isabella, which is our equivalent to one pot of thermite from Brainiac's How Hard is your Thing segment, Mog's out. The best performer out there is Adventure Time's BMO. Despite getting destroyed at the face of Isabella, BMO's the best living gadget to be hugged and kissed. Yes really. BMO's the cutest but four weeks later, Poof from The Fairly OddParents steal BMO's crown but sadly, Poof's position didn't last long with the arrival of Hamtaro's Bijou.

So far, Bijou is in the lead with a total score of 24 out of 30 points and the worst in the CUTENESS RANKER leaderboard is of course...Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony. Because of her clown-like personality, it's tough to contain Pinkie Pie and oh, she hurt Isabella...badly. Ouch... Glad we sedate that lunatic...

As our segment comes to a close, one final "cute character" is finally stepped out from the shadows but...can this "cute character" is worth enough to beat Bijou in our game or will Bijou retain the crown and declared victor? Time to let my inner Thalia Zucchi on. Let's find out...

Today's cute character is...

Mabel Pines

Mabel Pines? Could that be Mabel Pines who is the twin sister of Dipper Pines from the hit series Gravity Falls?

Well she looks cute but...HOW CUTE IS MABEL PINES? Brainiacs, stay alert...

The first test is...getting kissed. Just how kissable is Mabel Pines? The answer is simple.. Mabel's getting enjoyed by the kisses! Mabel likes boys. Cute boys. Handsome boys. Let's just remember, she was once kissed by a merman. That's it boys! Mabel loves the kisses! Keep going! And after a minute...that's enough. Kissing booth's over. That's a 10 out of 10 for Mabel Pines!

Next test...getting hugged. Just how huggable is Mabel Pines? Give her a nice squeeze, please. Amazingly, hugging Mabel Pines is like hugging an oversized teddy bear and as a bonus, we're not giving her an ordinary hug. It's the AWKWARD SIBLING HUG!

Awkward Sibling Hug

Yes. Pat Pat indeed. Let's give her a 9 out of 10 rating.

Last test...It's Mabel Pines vs. Isabella. Let's see who is the cutest. Time to light up what I believed to be an equivalent of one pot of thermite! Three...two...one!

Mabel Pines...guess you can't resist Isabella's cuteness because look at Isabella's cuteness, she's too cute and Mabel, what are you gonna do?

It's Beautiful!

Huh? What's this? Isabella forfeits? Wait a minute...Oh man! There goes the BOSS MABEL look! When Mabel says "It's Beautiful" in a geeky and nerdy kind of way...it's too hideous. So hideous, Isabella has left the building! That's it Mabel, you're more of an Isabella-repellant with your face. ATLIT, her Isabella-resistance rating is 8 out of 10.

Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls scored a grand total of 27 out of 30 points.

So there we have it. Mabel Pines is the winner of our segment....with the respectable EXCEPTIONALLY CUTE ranking.

1) Mabel Pines -27/30

2) Bijou - 24/30

3) Poof - 23/30

4) BMO - 22/30

5) Mokona - 22/30

6) Pikachu - 21/30

7) Catbug - 20/30
8) Mog - 19/30
9) Adipose - 16/30
10) Pinkie Pie - 15/30

Which means...the cutest character I've ever come across is MABEL PINES!

Woo-hoo!

HOW CUTE IS YOUR CHARACTER?